Another Exclusion.

Big Man managed to hurt his TA yesterday. Obviously he hurt a few kids too, he couldn't be calmed & was still being restrained when I arrived. Now we have an exclusion and little else.
He's fine, housework & reading is fine by him. Little Man seems fine although we're having a logistical nightmare as Big Man can't be on school premises. How do those without family manage? No wonder people quit work!
We go back in for reintegration in a couple of days. They'll go over what he's done & if he gets upset & emotional he'll be sent back home. Anxiety is a horrible thing to have and not easy to be rid of. He's steadily becoming more isolated, sometimes due to a serious lack of planning by teacher's, and his anxiety & behaviour are becoming much worse. He's been throwing furniture about, was unable to participate in a school performance & had to stay in school (The only child left at school!!) and is incredibly disruptive. Demand avoidance? Severe anxiety? ASD?
Funny how it's mainly in school....


I Don't Know!!!!!

How difficult is it to understand basic data protection? This week two parents have approached me to say that Big Man is continually hurting their child and that an apology from myself wouldn't go amiss. I find myself having to explain the data protection rules & that my child cannot bring himself to discuss these incidents after the fact. Any discussion needs to be as immediate as it can be.
Obviously their children are much more able to discuss these incidents and mention who is responsible so their parents assume I know. They assume that I'm just a nasty cow who can't be arsed to apologise. They also assume that my child is naughty/bullying/undisciplined and we are awful parents.
No other scenario enters their thoughts. That their child may have done something to trigger the incident doesn't enter their thoughts. That sensory issues were taking over, that teaching staff were not implementing strategies to prevent such incidents....
I'm on the verge of issuing an apology letter to the whole class along with a print out of the school's data protection policy, but then I might be even more unpopular!


Still waiting...

The storm still hasn't started! The most Big Man has done is to briefly hide under a table. Little Man has been a model pupil so far.

I'm pretty sure that Big Man is doing well due to his amazing TA. We've got a good un! She gets it, that's all that's required. Having yet to meet his teacher I'm unable to comment on her much. Homework is optional & she seems a bit too chilled out sometimes.
Little Man has 3 parties to go to this week, I hate the first year where everyone invites the entire class.
Tomorrow is our first TAF meeting since the holidays so I'm making a list. Big Man is off school ill, it'd be nice if he could act ill to be honest. We've started a block of speech therapy & I've still not seen a completed My Support Plan. We need a sensory assessment, ive ordered a weighted blanket & i haven't seen the schools behavioural anaysis. If the PPRS lady annoys me she may regret it.


The Calm Before The Storm

I really hope they're this excited to go back to school EVERY year!!

Big Man's shoes are tight already, 2 weeks since we bought them. Little Man was so hyper he'll probably fall asleep this afternoon. All in all a good morning.

I have an appointment every week until November, a TAF meeting, various professionals popping into school and neighbours who are continuously complaining about everybodys kids.

I needed that good start.


Our Headteacher

Like all Headteachers she has a lot on her plate. She is expected to know everything with minimal training, to mediate between parents, local authorities & the various professionals required whilst rummaging for coins down't sofa to fund it all. She does have my sympathy, it's not a job I'd want.

What concerns me is her apparent lack of understanding of the additional needs her students have. Our school seems to have a high proportion of children with both physical & invisible needs so you'd think they'd be pretty good at this. We've had exclusions, suggestions that our parenting is at fault, that our child is manipulative, that other children are far more important (all children are equally important!) and we aren't alone.

Other parents tell similar tales. Extremely important paperwork vanishing with little concern shown. Accusations of poor parenting when professionals see a very different picture. A general lack of any understanding of invisible disabilities & conditions and in some cases denying any condition exists until there's a diagnosis (which can come up to 10 years later in our area.)

Our child had a reasonable school report, any areas he is lacking ability are related to his additional needs. His teachers comments were quite positive. We are ignoring the Headteachers comments & have found we're not the only ones!


Confusion & Delay

I am mostly confused & there seems to be endless delays when it comes to SEND & mental health, especially regarding children. Prevention is best but we have a very reactive system. We currently have lots to work on & a seemingly productive team but alas, the summer holidays start in a couple of weeks!

The last TAF meeting was reasonably useful. We have completed a Coventry Grid to try to ascertain whether Autism or Attachment Disorder is our main issue. I personally think our main issue is anxiety possibly due to ASD or PDA (which has also been mentioned) but attachment keeps hanging around in the minds of our professionals. Big Man has many traits for all of these but not enough for any diagnosis. I filled in the form as required.

School are going to attempt a Functional Behaviour Analysis. Big Man can be quite challenging & is often defiant at school. He likes to be in control at all times and has issues when he can't be. This sounds quite complicated but very useful, i wished them luck!

Me, the SENCO & relevant staff members have had very quick training on therapeutic stories provided free of charge by our Ed Psych (he's a good un!) and suggestions on how to help these children. Therapeutic stories seem to be a better option than actual therapy for children. We've heard the awful CAMHS stories & you only access counselling & therapy services for a set amount of time. Stories can be there forever & can be personalised for the individual (although you never ever connect them directly with the story!) The Margot Sunderland books are a great start but an expensive one. This one is particularly good but generally turns the grown ups into emotional wrecks.

We're also trying a 5 point scale and 'feelings face cards' to help Big Man recognise and deal with his emotions.

The problem is much of this cannot start until September. He'll have a new teacher, new TA's, almost a new setting as it's much more formal. His behaviour could be nightmarish regardless of any intervention. The year 1 teacher doesn't have great reviews from parents and we've been completely spoilt with our reception staff. I'll be drinking wine!

Links which may be useful, let me know if they don't work.