Not Party Time

I've just turned down a party invite! Big Man got invited to another birthday party, he's friends with the kid, he's confident and sociable. He insists he doesn't want to go. Given that we'd been worrying over him not being invited to parties i wasn't prepared for this.

I'm guessing it's the whole social expectation of it. If it'd been in soft play he'd have jumped at the chance. It's not and he knows there'll be food and games and expectations. In a way i'm quite pleased. He can tell me that he doesn't want to go instead of us turning up and having a horrible time. I don't have to go to a party when i'd rather be doing something else (we all have that feeling at times right) and his friend will have a lovely party anyway. 

I told his mum we're busy that day. I also said that Big Man would rather not go, it's nothing personal, he just can't really handle it yet. I'd prepared myself for awkward conversation. She was lovely and understanding. Hopefully one day we'll manage a party but right now none of the kids are bothered by who does or doesn't go and that. I can't force them either, i can't force him to enjoy himself, i can't force people to be friends with him or understand him. I can make people more aware so that's the aim i guess.

Why do us adults make such a big deal out of things that kids just don't? Maybe if we didn't have such social expectations, weren't easily offended, didn't analyse every conversation (i'm guilty of that!) we'd have it much easier than we let ourselves believe.


You're not invited to my party.

That's what his best buddy greeted him with on the first day back at school. I'm not entirely sure they're still best buds. Big Man is pretty oblivious to these things. 
Maybe his mum told him who he couldn't invite. They do get a bit rough. Big Man doesn't know when to stop so someone will eventually get hurt. I can understand if she didn't want him there i suppose. It's probably easier.
Maybe he's gotten fed up of Big Man constantly talking at him, wrestling him, following him around. He's been pretty tolerant so far. 
I've been aware of parties that have happened since he started big school. Parties that have been discussed, just not with me. That was fine, he doesn't have many friends and he's not fussy about who he'll play with. This is different. This was a friend and a little unexpected. 

Honeymoon period is definitely over.